64

well im literally two and a half weeks away from leaving the place i have called home for the last six and a half years. and after this I will be coming back only as a mere visitor passing through.  interesting. I am really excited to see everyone out here but i feel like no one is around at the moment may be that is because people were this audition, cause when i worded yesterday it was dead as fuck at the studio. i dont know if i want to go take class today, and i feel so horrible for saying that but honestly i have so much to get done here at the house before tomorrow. let me explain. so i get a call from my landlord tell me that starting monday i am going to have my apartment open for people to start looking through cause apparently there are soooooooo many people interested she had to do this two and a weeks. whatever i just know that i dont want to see people walking through, so she gave me times, and i am going to do my best with just having everything pretty much done that way i dont have to be here at those times. Yet i just wanna fucking move and feel the loud music making my chest vibrate and my body moving, that sounds nice :) ugh and i feel i have to map my life out again. I tell you this mapping my life out is a constant thing its not only one list but like three hundred a week im always updating and changing and adding and subtracting this away. but i need to do it again time to reconstruct and figure some more shit out. i just wish i had the patience to just sit down for and hour or two and just do it. but i have to be in the  mood like when i am doing this kinda crap writing to people who im complete unsure of who they are. god this shit is crazy yo. not to mention i am on a time crunch today because i am going to the arm candy of dude ive been going at it with. and its his birthday and do i really want to do this? id rather sit at home and watch my housewives and map more shit out.  but i promised him a fuck or two ago. he cool, but i think he really is into me and its like dude you know im leaving in two weeks im not looking to start something so i hope he has that written down somewhere.  but like i said before he a cool guy. OOOOooooOOOOO and Sgt. (old ummm.....guy i was dating) hit me up last night looking for a little fun last night.  then he bailed on me, the only reason i can think of, he's wasted. he'll never change. on to the next. well im starving and really wanting a Starbucks. speaking of which im kinda excited i have to be out here during the week cause i think that will force me to write more go to coffee shop and write for a little bit. i like writing in public i feel like everything is passing me by as i sit and no one notices me. aaahhhhh. sounds nice right. the only time i can and be focused. and then i need to start closing down bills like my electricity and tv and shit. uugghhh and then i have to pay those off. i have this spending money stuff. i feel like i keep spending spending. its crazy cause it never stops. i feel like this move is really going to help me grow. be on my own i can spend money when i want to spend money, i can go to wherever i want and no one restricting me and on my own expense. with that though the limitations i have spending wise dont bother me cause i know what i really want to spend already and im going with the mind set that i have one goal and one goal only and that is to dance. send money on classes, maybe a convention or workshops, and of course im thinking of all the things on the outside of this but that's a given already so i just push that shit to the side.  but time is  getting closer and closer so i do need to really start getting down to the nitty gritty small tiny little details of things. so when i go into the AAA, Wells Fargo, i cant think of the other one i am going to go into but i wanna be prepared with the right questions i have and what-not. at lease im being prepaid to some degree cause i have no idea what the hell to expect. i have this kinda of idea but i think it more off a Tim Burton movie or something so im not going to think that's what its really like. im not that stupid hello people. i also do have to admit i am really excited for me and chrisi to be leaving with me for a couple days and im excited that i wont have to sleep in the same bed with her. i have a big problem with  sharing my bed. i dont care to. but yeah im excited for this cause it was fun when she was staying with me. though im still really angry about a situation that came up regarding me and birth of my nephew. but im letting it blow over for right now i dont have to think about it so that a situation more for when the time comes it will handle it. oh i need to get my day stared so im off.