A Questionable 35

the past week has been major hell for me. which is why i have not written in the last week. so i apologize but i am coming out of this depression i have been in. i have just wanted to hide this past couple of days and not show my face and just lay low. its almost been ten days and i have a lot to update you on. Soooo where the hell do i even begin. Well lets start off with the big bang of it all. my stupid ass got a DUI. It happened last Wednesday night/morning at 2am on my way home from my favorite place the SaddleRoom. i should clarify first that i don't evenm know if it a DUI yet. because since i didn't take the breathalyzer they had to take me down to a place First Chance which is a counseling center, i DIDN'T go to jail or anything like that, it was a counseling center. Now I am being completely honest when i tell you that i really wasn't even wasted. and by where they took me it is obvious. not to mention i passed every test they had given me given the circumstance that it was below freezing  at that time in the morning. and when i say it was below freezing i really mean it. It was one of the coldest nights the area has seen in a long time according to the news the following morning. I was very polite to the officer and the staff at First Chance. always made sure to thank you mame/sir, thank you, please, blah blah blah. I had three cocktails (vodka tonics) at maybe 1100 stopped drinking around 1200 left at 145. so i cant imagine that my blood alcohol was very high. by time they actually took my blood. and see i dont do very well with cops. i hate them. they make me so nervous and when my nerves get a hold of me it is hard to make choices and when the cop said ok now you have the option to take a breathalyzer i kept saying "i dont know". i dont know why. i think i was more scared of what it would read, and i didnt want to face the reality of seeing the numbers if i blew. and disappointing myself the cop my family. it was all just a bit too much and with my nerves i couldn't give an answer.  so he handcuffed me and took me to first chance where they finally drew my blood. mind you i didn't throw a tantrum or try and fight it is simply was just saying i don't know. never actually said no either. and the shitty part about this whole thing is that i didn't get stopped because i was speeding, or swerving, or doing anything stupid. NO. it was my fucking tail light on my car. Which by the way oh here is the kicker. my tail light was never broken. when  i had put stuff in my trunk on my move up here. something must have unlocked the little lath that held the lights in so they weren't sitting in the holder of the tail light. i had to snap them back in that's all. talk about GAY!! (and yes i can say that cause im a homosexual myself) anyways i had to stay there for five hours and they let me go early actually. my Grandma and Mike came and got me.  i went with my grandma that morning like right after to see her therapist who i actually really liked. Sweet little Irish lady who was really helpful and so sweet. and she reminded me that this isnt going to stop me from going to Europe. i might have to push my date back a little to deal with it, and i am fine with that. it would be a miracle if my blood report came back that i was under the legal limit. OMG i would literally believe in a god then. well i shouldn't say that cause i do have my own god. but maybe i will believe in the god everyone else does. LOL no i will stick with my god. he does me right. and he knows whats good for me and there is a reason why this has happened. im just trying to figure it out. like why did this happen?!?!?!?! what is my god trying to tell me right now?!?!? Ok but i have to finish this story. So then after i see the therapist i go back home and go to shower. When i get out of the shower im walking back to my room and i look back cause i thought i saw chrisi sitting in the office chair but she looked way skinnier so i double look and it my fucking mother. which was good cause that was gonna be my next stop. i had to tell my mother i didn't want to hide it from her. i wanted to be up and honest with her. and i wasn't afraid cause she couldn't say much cause. but when i told her her didn't seem to care. Trust me i can see why she is worried aboutme going over seas after this DUI and all but im not stupid either, and i have goals and when i go over seas it is not about partying and doing things like she sees me doing here, she has never seen me when i have my head on straight i don't bullshit around. I hardly drink now compared to months ago i never really cared to drink and the last few months it was very rare i drank maybe a few beers but that was it, this DUI was the first night i drank since i got here and the first in a long time!!come on!! So as for now i don't know what is happening i dont know if i have to push my date back, or what but i don't want to leave with anything dangling over me no fines no jail time nothing i want to leave with a good slate. So i just have to wait for me to get in the system. im going to wait till Wednesday cause by then it will have been a full week and hopefully it will be in there and if not i am going to keep trying till i am and find out the next move. I am going to talk to a public defender. free free!! i want to get everything don ASAP (this is if i even got a DUI) so i can leave right after. You know now i think about it how come every time i get in trouble with the law i leave right after. Like when i was arrested when i was 17 once i got done with rehab and probation the next day (literally) i moved to LA!! and now i am going to Europe. I just hate this game of waiting. cause i just want to handle it all right now!!!! So the night before this DUI thing i was pulled over by a another cop on my way home from the gym. and for the damn taillight thing and i didnt believe him cause usually my car says i have a tail light out, but i got really lucky cause he smelt the weed in my car and just made me throw it out. (thank god it was very little and i wasn't high) he was cool. I told him i had my card and i was moving he just let me go. ugghhhh i hate the cops here they are no joke. SO warning if any of you ever come to my area BE CAREFUL and keep shit out of your car if you can!! they are NO JOKE here and they have a end of the year quota coming up so mothers lock your children up.  LOL! other than that everything else has been pretty smooth, just hanging with Chrisi, i am so excited for her to have this baby! and it has been fun living with her. kinda like old times but its so different cause we are more mature and understanding of each others lives, and we help each other out. I honestly don't know where i would be in life if it wasn't for her. Im so glad she has been here for me though even though sometimes i wish i had duck tape to shut her the fuck up but i guess everyone needs a little more reminding. I am grateful!! but it is so funny how much were like twins, sometimes i forget that were not related cause i swear its like we were from the same sperm and egg hahaha.  i enjoy our little walks every night that we go on. we talk and talk, dude me and her can go for hours, its not even funny some times!! i did met someone while i have been home though. He is cool i like him we have soooooo much in common it is kinda odd.  and the funny thing he is planning on moving to London, like me!! and he wants to move in April! i haven't known him long, and no we haven't slept together.....yet! lol. right now he just another chill gay guy i am getting to know and becoming friends with getting to know. cause i really don't know anyone out here, sometimes it feels like i am starting all over again, but then i remember oh wait i haven't moved back im just here till i leave. I wont deny though that there is major attraction, he isn't like GQ or Mens Health cover but i find him to be hella cute and his personality is just amazing! he is from LA and moved up here. Says a lot right there. lol. I cant already hear Chrisi "I dont like him, NO!!" but then again no one will ever be good enough for me in her eyes. like i think no one is good enough for her. im working on giving her baby daddy the benefit of the doubt but sometimes the shit that comes out his mouth its like "really dude?!?!" Ya. retarded, but she claims to be in love with this fool. she better be cause she is gonna be stuck with him for life now. whether or not they are together. so once he gets out of jail we will have to see, which is why i am giving him the benefit of the doubt. but maybe i just love her TOO much and don't want her to get hurt!! cause i will kill a fool! LOL. but ya this guy, well call him "A" (very Pretty Little Liars of me haha). he is cool. works, has a life. hes been a good distraction for me right now. But not such a distraction that im loosing sight of my goals cause Im on a mission right now A BIG ONE. its just nice to have him on my down time! a pregnant lady a possible DUI a ruthless mother and planning is a bit much at times so it just nice to have that little distraction and he puts a smile on my face which is good for the stress lol. so it felt good to get all that out, now its time to get a little organized. need to find a way to get extra cash, i went and took a class yesterday which was a hot mess cause the guy sent me in the wrong studio and when he got done with the warm up he said welcome to Beginning Hip Hop and i was like OMG are you serious?!? i wanted Contemporary Hip Hop!! so by time the warm up was done and he said that there was like 45 mins left and he gave the class a break and i went to the desk to talk to the guy about sending me to the wrong class and he directed me to the right now and they had already learned more than half the routine so in about a half hour i picked up about 10 eight counts!! that is a lot!! especially for someone with hella learning disabilities!! But i did WELL i think! could have killed it if i was  in the right class to begin with but i will redeem myself for sure!!   he was more impressed with me than i was cause i thought i did a shit job but he said it was amazing!!I'll take that LOL!!  i just might go and take class tonight if i Chrisi will let me. LOL!! but i talked to him after and he said he can help me out with finding places to sub or teach at while i am here!! so i need to get on that! and funny cause we know a lot of the same people down in LA! well anyways i am being summoned by HER MAJESTY PREGO! but i promise from here on out i am going to write at least once a day. or more if i can. even if it is in the wee hours of the night!! L8r