Amsterdam part 2

Amsterdam part 2 

So I guess people come in and out of our lives for a reason. Monkey so example was definitely to teach me about myself. Definitely was a live and let learn situation. I not look back regretting my decision. I learned a lot about myself, and am grate for that experience. But what the fuck was that, that just happened. What are you kidding me first that now this. What the fuck kinda life lesson was this? Only to drive me insane. So like my third actual day in Amsterdam I decide ok I need to go out and why not find a cute guy to do so with. So I found one. We met at a waterfall and decided to go for drinks. So we went to this little car bar called Bump. It was cute. Cool atmosphere. And dude was totally! German and British!!! Holy shit! But there was not a dull moment of conversation. We laughed all night. Talking bout everything in the club, seemed like no one else existed. I mean people were there but all I could hear was him. I was comfortable. Very comfortable. It was like I could have known him the last ten years. So we were til bout 130 maybe 2 not too sure and then we decided we were gonna head home. And yes to our separate homes you pervs. Haha. Well I was awesome. You know how I was saying bout the bikes, well he rides a bike. And offered to take me on the back of his bike. Hahaha. And I did it. It was so exhilarating! It really was. And fun. And damn good ab workout lol. So maybe we get there, he took me to my front door. Come On. The front door. Like a man. He was looking good too. And once it started it didn't stop. I kissed him and kissed him hard. Or maybe he kissed me. Or we kissed each other. Either way, it was unbelievable!!! The energy, the vibe. We couldn't let go. I could have stayed down there in the street till dawn in the same spot wrapped up in him, kissing. Ugh. So finally at (from what I found out today) 330 in the am. I was up at 10am. He hit me up. And wanted to meet up later when he got off work and we decided to meet again for my last night here in Amsterdam. So I spent the day with the other couchsurfer met her in the city center took the ferry walked and walked. Till her feet bled. Literally poor. Thing totally cute. She is a dancer as well auditioning for a dance program out here. Undergrad. I know. So jealous. Sad that there masters program isn't accepted by my college funds.  Or I'd be applying. But she is from Finland really sweet! Well so we took the tram back together I got off at my stop and she went home, so we met at the fountain again. And just doesn't stop getting sexy! At all! We decided to take it easy and just toto a cafe and have a ginger ale. And chit chat. you know about the day. Asking random questions. Just having some laughs and again it was just comfortable and real and in such the moment. And then we decided we. Would cook dinner and hang out. And so before we cooked we had a total make out sesh. Yup. Again. Amazing! So we don't end up doing anything too naughty . Innocent-ish! Lol. But then bout 2/3 hours later we got hungry and cooked some amazing food fish with pasta. And dinner was perfect! Then we made our way to cuddling on the couch and watched a movie that I would not highly recommend! But then I was getting tired and so was he it was time for me to go home. He didn't want me walking so he rode me home in the back of his bike. Yeah thats when I started to freeze up. Cause I knew this was the end. And I've already learned my lesson. There is no fairytale ending. And as much as I was hoping he would turn around on that bike and tell me not to go! And all that other stuff. I knew it wasn't going to happen. How can you, when you've only met someone twice? How would you know it would be worth it? As much as we all want to see the rainbows and unicorns of life, well let reality slap you a few times, cause bitch it ain't happening! Hahaha. Maybe that was it maybe he was like my test to see if I'd do something crazy again. Well maybe I would, but I'm not. And I am sure that the moment I leave there is going to be some other guy already waiting and gets swooped up by a damn great man, and who ever they may be is going to be one luck son of bitch cause let me tell you, he is worth it, and is one of the best men I know with a heart of gold, and his being of his own that is so...TURE! I had to actually walk off that feeling, that remembering..oh yeah, there goes another! Bye bye! Like really?!?! I don't know now I feel like I'm getting punished for something and I don't know what. What did I do? That's what I'm starting to wonder. It's not truly there yet but it is surfacing. Ugh. Big sigh. Walking really helped it from really surfacing. Listening to music.  Now I just really want to just move my body and let it out. Let me scream from my body for a moment. Well tomorrow I head to London. And get to work. Get my life going again and now this is where it becomes time to get my head into gear and buckle up. Better get ready and pack and look online and figure things out.

Cheers