DaNcEsUrFeR!: More Paris

Monday, February 6, 2012

More Paris

Sunday night

Fml right now. I am not feeling good. I feel like everyone in Paris is sick! It's like I'm trapped in a bubble with a million sick people. I'm taking so much vitamin c I could turn into an orange. I just left my second couch surfers place and now going to my last one. And I'm there till I leave to Sweden. Ugh and thought of what to do after Poland I'm ready to go back to London to be honest. Well no I still want to go Denmark and Amsterdam and I have to go to Russia cause I want to renew my visa. Otherwise If I don't I could get deported in July ad I need more time to figure out how to stay! Gh so much thinking. It's starting to become hard. But patience is a virtue. To be honestly I just want to conqure the places I really want left renew my visa and get back to London and find a space of my own that I can call my own. Look into schools or find my ass a husband lol. But I think I am going to do Russia last some time in April so then I have till October at least. I don't know why I'm inking so hard about it! I can anything...anything...and I'm worrying! But as far as tonight goes I am going to see how well I sleep and whatnot cause if not id rather lock myself in a Hoyle room and get better! That's of course after I dance and shop for some extra clothes. Note to self start triple/quadruple layer clothing especially in Sweden and Poland!! Ok and honestly tho the guys in France are ok looking nothing like Dublin! That's for damn sure! I was expecting Them to be like smoldering hot but no there pleasant looking some are gorg! But yeah it's not what I was expecting.

Monday
I have to say thank god I feel a lot better today. Slept pretty good last night. Just keep popping those damn vitamin c pills like they are sour candy. Went and bought some new long sleeve shirts and socks to prepare of Sweden and Poland cause I know it's going to be cold and shit and I am going to layer as much as I can. Kinda waking up with a clear head this morning and doing a lot of research and I am going to skip a few countries reasons:
1) save money
2) enough time to figure out how to stay in the uk
- if I apply for my masters I have to do an audition and video submission and all that so I need the time
3) definitely gonna make another stop in Dublin
4) want to start auditioning and see if I can get a sponsor or signed to an agency and get a sponsor that way or possibly a special visa

Anywho as you can I just need time and if I come back in may that gives me such a short amount of time...round 2 months...and I know it is going to take more time than that. Especially if my option is returning to school for a masters. But I would love to just get a sponsor. Fuck, why can't it be easy!!

But yeah so after Poland I'm going to go to Berlin, copenhagen, Amsterdam and back to Dublin, and then back to London!! And you know what I completed 8 countries. And I'm proud of myself for that. And hey I'll get to the others. Once I can establish my living situation and so I don't feel rushed, so I know I won't get deported back. But yeah I'm feeling better today and ready to dance and move and have some fun! Sop glad I feel better!! And they guys I'm staying with a cool. They are fun and nice and I like them. Definitely going to bring them a present. They made me feel right at home! Well I am off now

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prequel

alright, this is for those of you who are either reading this for your first time and have no idea about me. just have no idea about me period, or just have no time and you do know me but just wanna read this. haha. :P . anyhow I'm John, nice to meet you! and welcome! lets get right to the nitty and grity of why we are really here shall we. So I hail from the Bay Area up near San Francisco. i love it there! definitely one of the best places to be on earth!!! I have one mother andone father no step-anything. divorced. and then there is only me. between two parents who hate each other. awkward. lol. I will say though i have come to accept my relationship with both my parents and i love them both unconditionally. I've been in school for past 20 somethin' years, and finally just finished at Cal State Northirdge. i hate school. love learning, but hate school, I'm just no good at it. ha! but true, those learning disabilities are no joke. and the amount of drugs i did as a youngster didn't help either i bet! lol! hey,six and half-ish years into sobriety i can crack jokes and laugh about it, ok. lol. yeah that time in my life deserves a blog to itself. back to me now. lol. I'm at a point in my life where its time to be me. I use to be really fat had really bad teeth. (basically me finally becoming sober) and pretty much a lot of work later I at least have a little more confidence(still a work in process). Another I'm finally at a point in my life where i have been dreaming about and have been working to get to. and still i feel as though I'm completely dreaming and almost denying it is happening even though i am completely aware it is. again, i will get more into detail about this in the blog. so just hold the fuck up, alright! :P i have a dirty mouth and for about half the day give or take a few hours a dirty mind, so i should say now if you don't think you handle what i have to say id advise you to stop reading now. not to mention i have been told that i have a mouth on me and most the time i happen to be that guy that says all the wrong things at the wrong time, or always come out wrong. certainly something i working on cause im really not a dick. i swear. cause the point of this thing is to just say whatever is in my head. trust me its just as awkward for you as it is for me. trust me. I'm pretty much an open book right now, so nothing is off limits. but if this helps to understand where i am at in life right now; not only am i using this as a tool to record this era of my life, but most of this is therapeutic to me, and the thought of other people reading this and getting inside my head (if they understand it or not depends. lol.) kinda pushes some of my buttons i like. don't ya think? oh well. So if you didnt catch from the title that i am a dancer . then i dont know what to tell you. dumbass. well that is me. i am a dancer. i love everything about dance, i truely do I even went as deep as to , the feeling it gives me when i move, the amazing people you ge to meet, well some aren't so great people but we just wont talk about them. continuing on. the passion it fills me with. never knowing where it is going to take me. who the fuck could not love that. me. right here. yes me. i couldn't love it more and and i am ready for more. feed me. OK I must make a quick shout out to the three people who truly are I can even find the word. Ummmm. I must just say that these three people are my sisters, my angels, my world. I would certainly take a bullet for them without out even having to think twice. Chrisi & Selina Kayo, and Rebecca Dilg. I will say though no one get me like these three, the memories, tears, lies, sex, drugs (Becca was the good girl so count her out for this one),fallouts, and what-not. but as Kennis would say “different cities, same area code”! not enough could be said about these girls. they are seriously how I got to where I have today, they inspire me and keep me in that fight for your dream mentality. well on that note and being done with the emotional part i think i should stop there and just do the damn thing already...ready. set. go.