DaNcEsUrFeR!: On my way! To Sweden

Monday, February 13, 2012

On my way! To Sweden

Tuesday7th
morning :
I don't know I am so confused on what to do right now! I tout I wanted to just do a couple more countries and then head back but I don't know. I just want to be able to know that I want get deported. Cause I really want to stay. But at the same time I want to continue to travel. I love it. Maybe it wil come to me when I don't think about it so much. But I can't help it. It's a day before I go to Sweden I am so excited. Cause I know they got some dope dancers from sweden, and I am ready for something sickening. And I paid for FNF today. And to be honest. After seeing the amount if have spent in total for the amount of traveling I'm not that worried which is why it makes it more confusing. But like what if I can't get into a school or I can't get a sponsor or an agent or anything. That's what makes me nervous. My palms are sweating just thinking about it. Cause I don't want to go back. I felt it when I was in London. I was MEANT TO BE THERE!!

Afternoon:
So I've done a lot of thinking and I have come to conclusion of what it is I need to do in order to keep my mind at ease. I am going to travel a couple more countries making my way back closer to the London. So I have time to find my way to stay there, whether it be going back to school, finding an agent, or multiple agents, a sponsor, or a sexy ass fine man lol. Which I'm not counting on the last one but never know right. Though I have my mind occupied by someone. But chances of that are slim to none. Keeping that faith tho hahaha. Anyways this dicission makes me happy cause I feel like it is a smart choice and I feel like I'm keeping my promise to my mom and making smart choices.cand once I establish my residency in the uk. I can do more traveling. Cause I'll start making money too. Somehow. But I will.

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prequel

alright, this is for those of you who are either reading this for your first time and have no idea about me. just have no idea about me period, or just have no time and you do know me but just wanna read this. haha. :P . anyhow I'm John, nice to meet you! and welcome! lets get right to the nitty and grity of why we are really here shall we. So I hail from the Bay Area up near San Francisco. i love it there! definitely one of the best places to be on earth!!! I have one mother andone father no step-anything. divorced. and then there is only me. between two parents who hate each other. awkward. lol. I will say though i have come to accept my relationship with both my parents and i love them both unconditionally. I've been in school for past 20 somethin' years, and finally just finished at Cal State Northirdge. i hate school. love learning, but hate school, I'm just no good at it. ha! but true, those learning disabilities are no joke. and the amount of drugs i did as a youngster didn't help either i bet! lol! hey,six and half-ish years into sobriety i can crack jokes and laugh about it, ok. lol. yeah that time in my life deserves a blog to itself. back to me now. lol. I'm at a point in my life where its time to be me. I use to be really fat had really bad teeth. (basically me finally becoming sober) and pretty much a lot of work later I at least have a little more confidence(still a work in process). Another I'm finally at a point in my life where i have been dreaming about and have been working to get to. and still i feel as though I'm completely dreaming and almost denying it is happening even though i am completely aware it is. again, i will get more into detail about this in the blog. so just hold the fuck up, alright! :P i have a dirty mouth and for about half the day give or take a few hours a dirty mind, so i should say now if you don't think you handle what i have to say id advise you to stop reading now. not to mention i have been told that i have a mouth on me and most the time i happen to be that guy that says all the wrong things at the wrong time, or always come out wrong. certainly something i working on cause im really not a dick. i swear. cause the point of this thing is to just say whatever is in my head. trust me its just as awkward for you as it is for me. trust me. I'm pretty much an open book right now, so nothing is off limits. but if this helps to understand where i am at in life right now; not only am i using this as a tool to record this era of my life, but most of this is therapeutic to me, and the thought of other people reading this and getting inside my head (if they understand it or not depends. lol.) kinda pushes some of my buttons i like. don't ya think? oh well. So if you didnt catch from the title that i am a dancer . then i dont know what to tell you. dumbass. well that is me. i am a dancer. i love everything about dance, i truely do I even went as deep as to , the feeling it gives me when i move, the amazing people you ge to meet, well some aren't so great people but we just wont talk about them. continuing on. the passion it fills me with. never knowing where it is going to take me. who the fuck could not love that. me. right here. yes me. i couldn't love it more and and i am ready for more. feed me. OK I must make a quick shout out to the three people who truly are I can even find the word. Ummmm. I must just say that these three people are my sisters, my angels, my world. I would certainly take a bullet for them without out even having to think twice. Chrisi & Selina Kayo, and Rebecca Dilg. I will say though no one get me like these three, the memories, tears, lies, sex, drugs (Becca was the good girl so count her out for this one),fallouts, and what-not. but as Kennis would say “different cities, same area code”! not enough could be said about these girls. they are seriously how I got to where I have today, they inspire me and keep me in that fight for your dream mentality. well on that note and being done with the emotional part i think i should stop there and just do the damn thing already...ready. set. go.